A- Z of Draco Malfoy
by DramioneCullen94
Summary: Draco never made all the wrong choices. He was the boy who never had a choice. He lost his innocence too early in life and this story will be the struggles that he faced along the way. I will go through every letter of the Alphabet in order to show the struggles and occasional ray of light that Draco endured. There may be a bit of Dramione in later chapters. Set around/after HBP


_**Hey guys **__** This is going to be my new story all about Draco Malfoy. I will be going through the alphabet and telling his story with regards to the letter of the chapter. I am basing the story on events during and after Half Blood Prince. There may be slight Dramione shipping later on with I'm not 100% sure.**_

**A – ****Anguish**

Draco Malfoy had just returned from the trial of his father Lucius Malfoy. He knew his father was doomed, it was obvious to see. The court knew he was a death eater, it was plan to see, and the dark mark that he wielded on his arm did little to help him convince them otherwise. He watched as his father was carted away to Azkaban, and he watched his mother try to keep a straight face and not cry as she left the court without her husband. He was going to kill that potter boy when they got back to school. He was going to make him pay for the pain he had put his family through.

Back at Malfoy Manor, he watched as his mother spiralled into a more depressive and scared state. Bellatrix did little to help the situation. She was always on at Draco about an upcoming task that the Dark Lord wanted him to complete. She wouldn't let slip as to what it was though. She believed it was the Dark Lord right, and only his right to tell the boy as to what mission he had chosen for him. Draco could see the excitement in Bellatrix's eyes and it haunted him. She only ever had that look when she knew that something terrible and evil was about to be put into place. The thought as to what that would be haunted him.

The Dark Lord took his fury out on the Malfoy Family as it was Lucius Malfoy's fault that the prophecy was lost.

"You're family had one job!" He boomed one day at Bellatrix. Draco feared that he would use the cruciatus curse on her. The only thing that stopped him was the fact that Bellatrix was his most faithful and deluded follower. She would do anything that the Dark Lord requested of her. That's when reality hit him. He wouldn't use it on Bellatrix because he trusted her wholly. What would he do to himself and his mother when he got around to them? That fear kept him up every night, although he didn't divulge this information to anyone as he feared being branded a coward.

Shortly after the trial of his father, Draco watched as his mother got more and more terrified until he finally learned the truth. The Dark Lord had given him the task of killing his head teacher; Albus Dumbledore. Dumbledore is the only Wizard that has ever put a flicker of fear into the Dark Lord's black heart. With him gone, the Dark Lord would be untouchable. The thought terrified him. Draco watched as his mother left one day with Bellatrix, they wouldn't say where they were going and it bugged Draco. Narcissa never kept secrets from her Son. They had made a pact, years ago, to tell each other everything, regardless of what it was. He knew that, in order for her to break this pact, she had to be something very important that nobody else could ever find out. He knew it was something to do with the task that the Dark Lord had set for him, but he couldn't fathom as to what it was. He hated the fact that because of him, his mother was risking her life. He would give anything to just take her all away from it.

On August 30th, Draco found himself packing his trunk ready to go back to school. He was adamant that he would be fine, but it reality he was terrified of going back. He feared what the Dark Lord would do to his mother if he ever found out what she had done and where she had gone. Even Draco had yet still to discover her secret. Narcissa kept trying to reassure him but it did little to raise his spirits. His mother was losing weight, she was pale from lack of nutrition and sleep and it was killing him to see her like that.

"Go! I'll be fine" She said to him with a half-hearted smile. He tried to smile back in a failed attempt to make her feel better; he could see that it clearly hadn't worked.

The goodbyes at platform 9¾ were hard to deal with. He didn't want to leave his mother all alone. Yes she had Bellatrix, but everyone knew that she was sacrificing her sister if the Dark Lord asked her too. Narcissa usually had Lucius to keep her company and protect her as much as he could, but thanks to Potter, she now had no one.

The train journey back to Hogwarts was hard. Pansy Parkinson fawned over him as she usually did, much to his annoyance. He only tolerated her because she was pureblood and the only girl that his parents approved of. Plus, it was nice not to feel so alone in a big castle. He knew that she would do anything for him. I guess you could say that he used her to a certain extent. He felt that he should feel guiltier about this than he actually did.

He used to enjoy Hogwarts. It was somewhere he could just mess around with his friends and be a child, but now, he couldn't be a child anywhere. He was forced to have this warped sense of purity and beliefs by his father, which he didn't know if he could follow anymore. As a child, he just went along with it, he thought that everyone believed the same way. Then, sadly, he grew up and learned the truth. He saw the mess that his family was in all because of the nobility of blood purity. It was insane! He wish he could just escape and make it all go away.

Sadly, it was only going to get worse for him. He soon learned the truth as to what the Dark Lord had planned for him. How could he be expected to do this? He couldn't do this! He wasn't a murderer. How could people think he could do this? The problem was though, that he had no choice. If he didn't do it, he knew what the fate of his family would be. Severus Snape eventually revealed where his mother had gone that day when he mother was so secretive. Even his own mother didn't believe he could do it, and recruited Snape to do it for him. He just wanted to curl up somewhere and cry; or even better, die. How could he do this? But he had to do this! He had to save his mother from the hands of the Dark Lord. He didn't care about his life, or his aunts or even his Father's, but he had a duty to his mother. How was he going to do this?

The rest of the school year seemed to pass in a blur. He was ordered to curse Dumbledore with the enchanted necklace that Katie Bell had stupidly touched. When he failed that, he knew that there was going to be serious consequences for both him and his mother when he returned home for the Christmas period. How could he have been so stupid as to trust a Gryffindor of all people to carry out the task? He would beat himself up over that for weeks to come. He knew that Potter, Granger and Weasley knew he was up to something as well. He was terrified that they would find out the actual truth; that he was a Death Eater, and that he had been recruited to kill Dumbledore.

He still hadn't got far with the mission to repair the vanishing cabinet either. That was his main priority this school year. He had to have the cabinet fixed as soon as possible, in order for his fellow Death Eaters to be able to gain access to the castle. The Dark Lord and Bellatrix had given him and earful about that over Christmas. He promised himself that when he got back to school that he would spend every spare minute of his time fixing that cabinet.

The further into the school year that he got, the more agitated his became. The cabinet was harder than he expected it to be. Even with Borgin sending him instructions nearly every day it was still harder to do that his first anticipated. He thought he was never going to be able to do it. However, as the weeks went by, the cabinet began to show signs of life. An apple disappeared and came back with a bite mark in it. Then the canary he put in disappeared. He was ecstatic at this point. He thought he had finally done it. However, his world came crashing down when the canary reappeared dead. If anyone got inside this cabinet they would perish before they reached their destination.

Finally at the end of the summer, he had the cabinet fixed. He had finally passed his mission. However, the realisation hit him that it was only the start of it. The end was to be him killing his head teacher. He still knew he couldn't do it, but he was sure as hell going to try. He walked up to the astronomy tower with his mission fresh on his mind. He watched as the Potter boy descended the stairs, his destination was unknown. Draco walked into the tower as Dumbledore turned around. Draco could see it in his eyes. Dumbledore knew why he was there. How could he know? Had he made it obvious this whole year? Did the Potter boy just tell him what Draco feared he had known all along. He figured that he may as well come clean. Draco lifted his robe sleeve in order to show him his Dark Mark. Dumbledore didn't even flinch. He had known all along! How could he have known? The only person in this whole school who knew was Snape and surely he wouldn't have told him! Draco lifted his wand, the fear and guilt rushing through him.

"I have to do this. I have to kill you. Or he's going to kill me!" Draco cried out to him. Dumbledore had pity in his eyes as if he understood. But he didn't. How could he? He hadn't lived through what he was living through, it wasn't possible! The more the old man spoke, the more he realised that he couldn't do it. That's when his aunt turned up with a line of Death Eaters in tow. Now he knew that he had no choice. Either he killed Dumbledore, or they would kill him on the spot and then kill Dumbledore themselves. He raised his wand as his aunt whispered sweet nothings in his ear. Draco lowered his wand, he would rather die a coward than live as a killer. Eventually Bellatrix lost her temper and screamed at him to do it.

"Do it Draco! NOW!" Bellatrix screeched down his ear.

"No" a voice said from behind as Snape came into view.

A wave of both relief and panic flooded over Draco. He knew that Snape had made the unbreakable vow with his mother, either Snape had to kill Dumbledore for him, or Snape would die. At the same time he had fear. He knew that Dumbledore was going to die tonight, there was no other way around it, however, he didn't want to stand here and watch an old man beg for his life. He also feared what the Dark Lord would do to himself and his family when he learned that Draco didn't follow through with his plan.

Draco barely had time to process anything that was going on around him, when there was a sudden flash of green as Dumbledore fell over the balcony of the astronomy tower and to the floor below. He just stood there with guilt and fear washing over him. What had his just allowed to happen? He let the Death Eaters in. Snape had no choice to kill Dumbledore for both of their lives would have ended that night if he had not. He was aware that someone pushed him out of the room and down the stairs. He heard Bellatrix distant screams of happiness and the shattering of glass as she celebrated. Draco feared what was to happen next. What would to Dark Lord force him to do next? He could only shudder with the thought of the possibilities.

_**I really hope you have enjoyed this chapter! The chapters aren't going to follow the story in order, and it is going to be more like everytime he feels an emotion. For example, this chapter was all about anguish, so it is just mentioning the times that Draco felt anguish within the Half Blood Prince and shortly after. I really hope that made sense. I am sorry if there are any errors within the story and I hope to fix them soon. Please leave a review for me as I love to read them and they make me write quicker! :D **_


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